








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 212 | 15% |
| Smokes | 484 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 199 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 489 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,614 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bolby | 40% | 99 |
| #8 | Ricky | 35% | 17 |
| #9 | EvanThaBeast | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | Tyger | 33% | 46 |
| #11 | Garfieldinator | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakers | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Bolby | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | cadestewie | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Garfieldinator | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EvanThaBeast | +6.44 | 67 | 44 |
| #2 | ♿MELLOW MIKE﷽ ﷽ ﷽﷽﷽ ﷽﷽﷽ ﷽﷽﷽ | +3.72 | 76 | 15 |
| #3 | Jakers | +3.66 | 72 | 20 |
| #4 | West Korea | +2.99 | 67 | 43 |
| #5 | Tyger | +0.52 | 51 | 52 |





