








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5140 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4338 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3178 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3150 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $471,916 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1935 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | irasee | 56 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | bNe | 25 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Torsti | 24 | 0.0279 |
| #4 | hilpeä | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | nalleq-LiftingMouse | 8 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bNe | 542 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | irasee | 530 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | Torsti | 131 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | DemariHOMO | 125 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | hilpeä | 120 | 0.08 | 2 min |





