








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1112 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1978 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2150 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1640 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $824,501 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManGoLoLoLo | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | ༺𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕝ℤ♛༻ | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Melos | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | RoadTo4K | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Ain | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ༺𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕝ℤ♛༻ | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Melos | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | RoadTo4K | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Ain | 39% | 31 |
| #6 | Bob | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManGoLoLoLo | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | RoadTo4K | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ain | 97 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | ManGoLoLoLo | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Melos | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bob | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ༺𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕝ℤ♛༻ | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROB | +1.20 | 86 | 45 |
| #2 | Melos | -0.88 | 54 | 44 |
| #3 | ༺𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕝ℤ♛༻ | -1.47 | 35 | 45 |
| #4 | ManGoLoLoLo | -1.60 | 52 | 54 |
| #5 | RoadTo4K | -1.93 | 50 | 56 |





