








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3563 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3012 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3096 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2544 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,435 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 730 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | San3x | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | Vammze | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | -Peaky- | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | CHICKEN ☣ | 49% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Vammze | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | -Peaky- | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | CHICKEN ☣ | 49% | 102 |
| #6 | GNOOO | 42% | 31 |
| #7 | Mifu | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 10 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | San3x | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | CHICKEN ☣ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Vammze | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | -Peaky- | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vammze | 210 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | CHICKEN ☣ | 198 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | San3x | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Patrick | 96 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mifu | 92 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vammze | +3.50 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | D3nM4rk | +0.56 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | GNOOO | +0.25 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | -Peaky- | -0.55 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | CHICKEN ☣ | -0.63 | 50 | 69 |





