








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1312 | 29% |
| Smokes | 938 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1084 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1130 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,285 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeffrey Epstein | 84% | 19 |
| #2 | Tuwami | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Niilo | 73% | 51 |
| #4 | Muugge | 71% | 14 |
| #5 | GM Emmi | 70% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | dmoN w tr4cksuit | 65% | 23 |
| #10 | Smirde_98 | 61% | 36 |
| #11 | kissi | 52% | 21 |
| #12 | maka paka | 52% | 31 |
| #13 | PIUPAU emmi | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GM Emmi | 10 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | dmoN w tr4cksuit | 7 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | Niilo | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | kissi | 4 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Jeffrey Epstein | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GM Emmi | 126 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Niilo | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Smirde_98 | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | dmoN w tr4cksuit | 69 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | kissi | 67 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellu<3 | +4.46 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | dmoN w tr4cksuit | +3.41 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | kissi | +2.76 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Niilo | +1.91 | 83 | 56 |
| #5 | Muugge | +1.67 | 74 | 52 |





