








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2337 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1382 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1361 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1293 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $401,971 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 473 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesse Pinkass | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | Chill Will | 76% | 25 |
| #3 | dir17 | 62% | 87 |
| #4 | -Batu | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | concus | 58% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIMKA | 95 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | aCt | 23 | 0.0211 |
| #3 | siken | 15 | 0.0242 |
| #4 | dir17 | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Chill Will | 7 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aCt | 277 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | SIMKA | 232 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | dir17 | 220 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Chill Will | 113 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | -Batu | 81 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chill Will | +6.13 | 62 | 55 |
| #2 | -Batu | +5.40 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | SIMKA | +1.66 | 74 | 37 |
| #4 | concus | +1.54 | 50 | 44 |
| #5 | dir17 | +1.51 | 68 | 57 |





