








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Esplay | 25 matches | 1,948 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1771 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1337 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1836 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1206 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,608 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 387 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J㋛tto ⍩ | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Zesttoo | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Muffins... | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Ogsar | 51% | 106 |
| #5 | knL | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knL | 13 | 0.0302 |
| #2 | SellOut07 | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Ogsar | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Zesttoo | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Centralfiction 𝔇𝔞𝔫𝔡y | 4 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ogsar | 155 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Zesttoo | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | LELO | 50 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | J㋛tto ⍩ | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | knL | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zesttoo | +4.25 | 80 | 51 |
| #2 | J㋛tto ⍩ | +3.98 | 87 | 68 |
| #3 | knL | +3.47 | 87 | 50 |
| #4 | Ogsar | +1.73 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | Xcreed | +0.56 | 61 | 59 |





