








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 994 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 591 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




165 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5937 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4457 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6798 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6795 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,902,689 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 748 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iEtrico | 55% | 60 |
| #2 | Jeralleto (They/Them) | 54% | 112 |
| #3 | ItsFalonee♥ | 54% | 166 |
| #4 | Perfexy | 52% | 103 |
| #5 | L1pizapa [BE] | 51% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jeralleto (They/Them) | 54% | 112 |
| #3 | ItsFalonee♥ | 54% | 166 |
| #4 | Perfexy | 52% | 103 |
| #5 | L1pizapa [BE] | 51% | 203 |
| #6 | CowgirlCrackshot | 49% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CowgirlCrackshot | 34 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Jeralleto (They/Them) | 20 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | L1pizapa [BE] | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Perfexy | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | iEtrico | 6 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1pizapa [BE] | 159 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | CowgirlCrackshot | 121 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | iEtrico | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jeralleto (They/Them) | 101 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | ItsFalonee♥ | 70 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultimate DragonDildo | +1.88 | 64 | 55 |
| #2 | Perfexy | +0.10 | 84 | 42 |
| #3 | iEtrico | +0.01 | 51 | 51 |
| #4 | Jeralleto (They/Them) | -0.21 | 52 | 39 |
| #5 | ItsFalonee♥ | -0.80 | 37 | 45 |





