








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 653 | 6% |
| Smokes | 4324 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3125 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3486 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,407,716 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultimate DragonDildo | 54% | 166 |
| #2 | iEtrico | 52% | 162 |
| #3 | Perfexy | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | L1pizapa [BE] | 48% | 182 |
| #5 | rednax | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultimate DragonDildo | 435 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | iEtrico | 424 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | L1pizapa [BE] | 164 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Bot ronnie | 160 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | Robin | 117 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultimate DragonDildo | +2.52 | 66 | 56 |
| #2 | Robin | +2.33 | 65 | 67 |
| #3 | Bot ronnie | +0.96 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | iEtrico | +0.82 | 50 | 52 |
| #5 | Perfexy | +0.73 | 80 | 38 |





