








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 940 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 196 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




233 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3133 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4349 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6403 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 9797 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,322,437 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bones69 | 49% | 329 |
| #5 | B-RAD | 48% | 103 |
| #6 | King_RedTroll | 47% | 157 |
| #7 | browntownJS | 45% | 420 |
| #8 | | 42% | 189 |





