








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 501 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9483 | 38% |
| Smokes | 6571 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3972 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4632 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,266,106 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ciggy cat | 57% | 77 |
| #2 | beefybaconator | 43% | 68 |
| #3 | heavenly | 43% | 40 |
| #4 | SOLO | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ciggy cat | 57% | 77 |
| #2 | beefybaconator | 43% | 68 |
| #3 | heavenly | 43% | 40 |
| #4 | SOLO | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ciggy cat | 16 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | SOLO | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ciggy cat | 505 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #2 | beefybaconator | 318 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | SOLO | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | heavenly | 119 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ciggy cat | +1.65 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | LexityJ | +1.31 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | beefybaconator | -0.37 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | SOLO | -1.34 | 59 | 61 |
| #5 | heavenly | -2.79 | 64 | 55 |





