








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 889 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




572 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3845 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6933 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 3212 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 461 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,256,312 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noclip iz 0.o | 64 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | burger angel | 57 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | buggys big day | 36 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | ball | 32 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Ms.Pancakes | 28 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buggys big day | 306 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #2 | ball | 285 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | burger angel | 100 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | beanz | 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | noclip iz 0.o | 66 | 0.02 | 1 min |





