








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 998 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 800 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 57,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17899 | 31% |
| Smokes | 15240 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12569 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 11519 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,529 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 693 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HotBeef | 54% | 65 |
| #2 | blessthefallfan | 53% | 98 |
| #3 | Stalagmite | 53% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HotBeef | 54% | 65 |
| #2 | blessthefallfan | 53% | 98 |
| #3 | Stalagmite | 53% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blessthefallfan | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Stalagmite | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | HotBeef | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blessthefallfan | 581 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #2 | HotBeef | 147 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Stalagmite | 109 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blessthefallfan | +1.53 | 66 | 65 |
| #2 | HotBeef | +1.08 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | 𝔻𝕚𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕧𝕒𝕟 | -0.53 | 54 | 78 |
| #4 | Stalagmite | -0.94 | 46 | 59 |





