








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 509 matches | ||
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6670 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6261 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5097 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6008 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,424,496 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 544 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tux- | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | jaime | 59% | 51 |
| #3 | ˹morganne˼ | 59% | 143 |
| #4 | Larks (New Mousepad) | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | ariashark | 58% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ariashark | 58% | 72 |
| #6 | Sudo | 58% | 126 |
| #7 | BajaeR | 57% | 75 |
| #8 | Oh, my God. | 52% | 48 |
| #9 | zundo | 51% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˹morganne˼ | 19 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | zundo | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ariashark | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Sudo | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | BajaeR | 8 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zundo | 765 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | ˹morganne˼ | 349 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | ariashark | 334 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | Sudo | 256 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | BajaeR | 229 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zundo | +2.68 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | BajaeR | +2.59 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | tux- | +1.61 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | DxM | +1.32 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | ˹morganne˼ | +1.08 | 85 | 61 |





