








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1840 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1826 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2480 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2820 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,653 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rh9xy | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | PorQue | 68% | 60 |
| #3 | | why ¿ ? | 51% | 253 |
| #4 | Lelute | 46% | 57 |
| #5 | lusc4__ | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rh9xy | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | PorQue | 68% | 60 |
| #3 | | why ¿ ? | 51% | 253 |
| #4 | Lelute | 46% | 57 |
| #5 | lusc4__ | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | why ¿ ? | 20 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | PorQue | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Lelute | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | why ¿ ? | 477 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lelute | 215 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | lusc4__ | 176 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | PorQue | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | rh9xy | 110 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PorQue | +3.40 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | rh9xy | +2.98 | 88 | 59 |
| #3 | | why ¿ ? | +2.46 | 74 | 53 |
| #4 | Lelute | +1.81 | 85 | 61 |
| #5 | B3rnx | -0.26 | 62 | 48 |





