








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 599 | 19% |
| Smokes | 714 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 885 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 883 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,968 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claydoe46 | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | Mr_Dumpy | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | MckNinja | 47% | 190 |
| #4 | Shadowpath7 | 44% | 165 |
| #5 | InfinityMango | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claydoe46 | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | Mr_Dumpy | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | MckNinja | 47% | 190 |
| #4 | Shadowpath7 | 44% | 165 |
| #5 | InfinityMango | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MckNinja | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Shadowpath7 | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Claydoe46 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Mr_Dumpy | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | InfinityMango | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadowpath7 | 171 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | MckNinja | 111 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | Claydoe46 | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr_Dumpy | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | InfinityMango | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MckNinja | +4.00 | 72 | 29 |
| #2 | Claydoe46 | +1.80 | 36 | 59 |
| #3 | Shadowpath7 | -1.08 | 33 | 53 |
| #4 | Mr_Dumpy | -3.94 | 33 | 24 |
| #5 | InfinityMango | -4.17 | 28 | 51 |





