








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1404 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2001 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3099 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2082 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,326 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | zmp1 | 45% | 163 |
| #8 | JA4 | 38% | 53 |
| #9 | Kaarel | 34% | 93 |
| #10 | sayex | 29% | 21 |
| #11 | mammmu | 22% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aviraj | 20 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Pets | 13 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | zmp1 | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Kaarel | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | meisTerweeD | 3 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zmp1 | 533 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Aviraj | 488 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kaarel | 235 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Valoodja | 56 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | meisTerweeD | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |





