








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 724 | 26% |
| Smokes | 435 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 836 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 819 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,630 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙆 𝙚 𝙞 𝙩 𝙝 𝙨 | 44% | 57 |
| #2 | R I G E L | 41% | 86 |
| #3 | Jack Mehoff | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Shelby | 32% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙆 𝙚 𝙞 𝙩 𝙝 𝙨 | 44% | 57 |
| #2 | R I G E L | 41% | 86 |
| #3 | Jack Mehoff | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Shelby | 32% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shelby | 12 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | 𝙆 𝙚 𝙞 𝙩 𝙝 𝙨 | 10 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | R I G E L | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Jack Mehoff | 2 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R I G E L | 242 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | 𝙆 𝙚 𝙞 𝙩 𝙝 𝙨 | 190 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Shelby | 109 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jack Mehoff | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shelby | +2.52 | 39 | 45 |
| #2 | 𝙆 𝙚 𝙞 𝙩 𝙝 𝙨 | +2.52 | 44 | 47 |
| #3 | R I G E L | -1.34 | 14 | 47 |
| #4 | Jack Mehoff | -2.13 | 10 | 24 |
| #5 | rapidluidd | -2.24 | 33 | 44 |





