








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4905 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5408 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5345 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4176 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,773,314 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viHa | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | vesikauhu | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | --kela | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Nahkasalaatti | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | odegee | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viHa | 730 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | --kela | 649 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #3 | RacerX | 435 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | tatti | 432 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | /ℝUSainBolt | 426 | 0.32 | 12 min |





