








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 622 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3689 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6061 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6665 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6163 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,858,217 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauberi | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | /ℝUSainBolt | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | --kela | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | clouttifaija | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | tatti | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viHa | 662 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | clouttifaija | 537 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | RacerX | 520 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | /ℝUSainBolt | 495 | 0.32 | 13 min |
| #5 | hauberi | 458 | 0.13 | 11 min |





