








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1392 | 27% |
| Smokes | 822 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1323 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1530 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,029,308 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 506 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aJ_ | 51% | 288 |
| #2 | King Balls II | 44% | 54 |
| #3 | KudoOkami | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aJ_ | 51% | 288 |
| #2 | King Balls II | 44% | 54 |
| #3 | KudoOkami | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aJ_ | 87 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | KudoOkami | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | King Balls II | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aJ_ | 358 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | King Balls II | 136 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | KudoOkami | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KudoOkami | +3.54 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | King Balls II | +1.23 | 44 | 47 |
| #3 | Twitch burningtr33s | +0.39 | 34 | 33 |
| #4 | aJ_ | -0.81 | 28 | 27 |





