








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8750 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9132 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8903 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9073 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,396,684 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F!N!CS | 60% | 58 |
| #2 | MvNan | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | rizz | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | i miss her | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | zel | 53% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AMD | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Just PooPoo | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | bonkers | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Bumblebee | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Raider | 7 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rizz | 446 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #2 | AMD | 428 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Akari | 413 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | bonkers | 401 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Just PooPoo | 321 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just PooPoo | +4.35 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | zel | +2.95 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | i miss her | +2.08 | 53 | 64 |
| #4 | rizz | +2.07 | 44 | 77 |
| #5 | AMD | +1.86 | 43 | 70 |





