








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 997 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4916 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1977 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4973 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1112 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,219,874 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2851 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanyewestlover911 | 49% | 155 |
| #2 | F1le | 47% | 193 |
| #3 | svantopolk | 46% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanyewestlover911 | 49% | 155 |
| #2 | F1le | 47% | 193 |
| #3 | svantopolk | 46% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanyewestlover911 | 24 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | F1le | 23 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | svantopolk | 18 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | svantopolk | 328 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | F1le | 144 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kanyewestlover911 | 20 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanyewestlover911 | +1.60 | 45 | 31 |
| #2 | Halloglen | +1.38 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | F1le | -1.56 | 28 | 28 |
| #4 | svantopolk | -4.76 | 19 | 39 |





