








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1041 | 20% |
| Smokes | 960 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1956 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $546,421 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 418 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | analcowboy67 | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | YERCULATOR | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | s1nk | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | navraj | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | joseph | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | s1nk | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | navraj | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | joseph | 56% | 52 |
| #6 | CDOTI | 54% | 122 |
| #7 | Webbs-iwnl- | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joseph | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | CDOTI | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Webbs-iwnl- | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | analcowboy67 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDOTI | 515 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | YERCULATOR | 145 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | navraj | 85 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | joseph | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | analcowboy67 | 73 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1nk | +3.22 | 67 | 40 |
| #2 | navraj | +2.42 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | YAYO | +1.77 | 85 | 47 |
| #4 | YERCULATOR | +1.59 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | analcowboy67 | +0.23 | 84 | 65 |





