








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 810 | 24% |
| Smokes | 348 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1325 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,702 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXSnipaCawkXx | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | jch | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | analcowboy67 | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | sandwich | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Baby K | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | YAYO | 56% | 52 |
| #7 | navraj | 52% | 64 |
| #8 | DIEMA | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | CDOTI | 50% | 38 |
| #10 | YERCULATOR | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | navraj | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | analcowboy67 | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | sandwich | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | YAYO | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | CDOTI | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | navraj | 170 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | CDOTI | 151 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Baby K | 80 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | analcowboy67 | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | YAYO | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jch | +1.66 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | YAYO | +1.61 | 85 | 48 |
| #3 | analcowboy67 | +1.59 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | Baby K | +1.49 | 73 | 74 |
| #5 | sandwich | +1.39 | 66 | 44 |





