








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2035 | 40% |
| Smokes | 774 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1506 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 796 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,300 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aidan | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | UndetectedSTD | 55% | 99 |
| #3 | JohnyLongJohny | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | Stvn | 43% | 132 |
| #5 | sitonmyface | 42% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UndetectedSTD | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | sitonmyface | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | GaryTheSnail | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Stvn | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | JohnyLongJohny | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaryTheSnail | 236 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | UndetectedSTD | 217 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | sitonmyface | 119 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stayfrosty | 104 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stvn | 75 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UndetectedSTD | +7.11 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | Aidan | +4.51 | 83 | 34 |
| #3 | JohnyLongJohny | +1.66 | 61 | 40 |
| #4 | Stayfrosty | +0.76 | 40 | 43 |
| #5 | sitonmyface | -0.08 | 50 | 40 |





