








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




141 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1844 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2261 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1564 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1994 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,174,737 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2966 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MinT- | 62 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | hecker | 25 | 0.0213 |
| #3 | ph4ntom | 18 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Tosh | 15 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | pendamen | 13 | 0.0308 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tosh | 525 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | Phantomschmerz | 459 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #3 | ph4ntom | 429 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | clydieseeasse | 375 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #5 | MinT- | 359 | 0.09 | 7 min |





