








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 236 | 24% |
| Smokes | 153 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 356 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 235 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $138,750 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sic lunatic | 46% | 39 |
| #2 | Noname | 38% | 37 |
| #3 | ppallovermeilikepp | 33% | 45 |
| #4 | Noname | 24% | 34 |
| #5 | Noname | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sic lunatic | 46% | 39 |
| #2 | Noname | 38% | 37 |
| #3 | ppallovermeilikepp | 33% | 45 |
| #4 | Noname | 24% | 34 |
| #5 | Noname | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ppallovermeilikepp | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | sic lunatic | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Noname | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Noname | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ppallovermeilikepp | 109 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | sic lunatic | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Noname | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Noname | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Noname | 17 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sic lunatic | +6.14 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | Noname | +3.45 | 48 | 54 |
| #3 | Noname | -1.78 | 38 | 14 |
| #4 | Silence | -2.96 | 9 | 23 |
| #5 | ppallovermeilikepp | -3.09 | 15 | 27 |





