










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 539 | 26% |
| Smokes | 520 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 580 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 408 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,364 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | destroy lonely | 41% | 68 |
| #4 | 撞怀 | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Cosma | 40% | 35 |
| #6 | Erikcoanda | 23% | 22 |
| #7 | Catuta.SKINS | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erikcoanda | 14 | 0.0321 |
| #2 | Cosma | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | destroy lonely | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Poo | 3 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | 撞怀 | 1 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | destroy lonely | 155 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Erikcoanda | 119 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cosma | 51 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | 撞怀 | 27 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | Catuta.SKINS | 24 | 0.26 | 0 min |





