








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1865 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1218 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 718 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1306 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,310 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jynx𖤐 | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Ettimew | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | Nicky Flippers | 50% | 179 |
| #7 | 輝く星は情熱を放つ | 46% | 24 |
| #8 | the bag after 20 bumps | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicky Flippers | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | 輝く星は情熱を放つ | 9 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | Chong Pork | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Jynx𖤐 | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | the bag after 20 bumps | 6 | 0.0244 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicky Flippers | 432 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ettimew | 115 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Chong Pork | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Droog | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jynx𖤐 | 58 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Droog | +4.03 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | Chong Pork | +1.24 | 37 | 64 |
| #3 | Japeth | +0.23 | 61 | 45 |
| #4 | Nicky Flippers | +0.18 | 32 | 63 |
| #5 | Ettimew | -0.60 | 27 | 39 |





