








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 688 | 28% |
| Smokes | 305 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1008 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 451 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,728 of utility $293 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ettimew | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | Chong Pork | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | the bag after 20 bumps | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Japeth | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Droog | 51% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicky Flippers | 17 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Droog | 13 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | 輝く星は情熱を放つ | 9 | 0.0237 |
| #4 | Chong Pork | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Ettimew | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicky Flippers | 370 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ettimew | 172 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Droog | 164 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Japeth | 107 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chong Pork | 105 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Droog | +3.31 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | Japeth | +2.12 | 68 | 52 |
| #3 | Chong Pork | +1.90 | 38 | 54 |
| #4 | Nicky Flippers | +1.64 | 38 | 63 |
| #5 | Ettimew | +0.54 | 29 | 44 |





