








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 867 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1341 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1165 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1337 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,134,300 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floppyflapp | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Hannah | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Kitchen GOD | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | Art Of Dumpin'™ | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | mango☮mongo | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hannah | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Kitchen GOD | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | Art Of Dumpin'™ | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | mango☮mongo | 39% | 18 |
| #6 | eirik | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitchen GOD | 6 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Floppyflapp | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | eirik | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Art Of Dumpin'™ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitchen GOD | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | eirik | 70 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Art Of Dumpin'™ | 50 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Floppyflapp | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | mango☮mongo | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitchen GOD | +1.47 | 58 | 58 |
| #2 | eirik | +1.05 | 41 | 80 |
| #3 | Hannah | +0.87 | 59 | 15 |
| #4 | mango☮mongo | +0.74 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Floppyflapp | +0.43 | 65 | 42 |





