








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 512 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1102 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 587 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 596 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $867,429 of utility $337 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jckgron | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | martellus | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Nicolaso | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Wags | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | cashmoneycal | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Homunculus | 123 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | cashmoneycal | 69 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | jckgron | 64 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Wags | 64 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | martellus | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cashmoneycal | +3.80 | 81 | 39 |
| #2 | Wags | +2.40 | 60 | 49 |
| #3 | King Homunculus | +1.63 | 29 | 45 |
| #4 | insuficientSauce | +0.81 | 46 | 54 |
| #5 | martellus | -0.34 | 21 | 43 |





