








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 489 | 24% |
| Smokes | 512 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 472 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 527 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,149 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rizzmaster69 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Tex | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | maxiw0w | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | theow0w | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | glada Mr. Allan MAX Ballan WHITE | 47% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tex | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | maxiw0w | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | theow0w | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | glada Mr. Allan MAX Ballan WHITE | 47% | 76 |
| #6 | 融合 | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxiw0w | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | rizzmaster69 | 4 | 0.0323 |
| #3 | Tex | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | glada Mr. Allan MAX Ballan WHITE | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | theow0w | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxiw0w | 284 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | glada Mr. Allan MAX Ballan WHITE | 212 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tex | 133 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | theow0w | 132 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | 融合 | 62 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxiw0w | +3.59 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | Tex | +2.49 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | 融合 | +2.41 | 82 | 71 |
| #4 | theow0w | +1.70 | 84 | 70 |
| #5 | Rizec | -0.80 | 65 | 49 |





