








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 568 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 644 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1890 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1768 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1910 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $842,494 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smed_ | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Torchy | 45% | 155 |
| #3 | Joey | 43% | 68 |
| #4 | kNrf ヅ | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | myagi | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smed_ | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Torchy | 45% | 155 |
| #3 | Joey | 43% | 68 |
| #4 | kNrf ヅ | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | myagi | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torchy | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | kNrf ヅ | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | myagi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torchy | 231 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | myagi | 178 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Joey | 121 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | kNrf ヅ | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Smed_ | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torchy | +3.04 | 59 | 69 |
| #2 | VriztTheGreat | -0.28 | 58 | 50 |
| #3 | Joey | -0.58 | 51 | 66 |
| #4 | myagi | -1.99 | 22 | 73 |
| #5 | Smed_ | -2.35 | 54 | 64 |





