








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 649 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3594 | 17% |
| Smokes | 9008 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 4554 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3788 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,908,042 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bertoli The Beautiful | 46% | 103 |
| #6 | BigBootyAssassin | 45% | 132 |
| #7 | Glaffo | 44% | 148 |
| #8 | MidgetSlayer | 44% | 80 |
| #9 | NiKo™ | 44% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiKo™ | 26 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | ogxro | 21 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | RICKY | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | BigBootyAssassin | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Bertoli The Beautiful | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloan | +2.72 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | NiKo™ | +2.06 | 60 | 52 |
| #3 | MidgetSlayer | +0.15 | 41 | 64 |
| #4 | Glaffo | +0.13 | 45 | 66 |
| #5 | ogxro | -0.32 | 67 | 40 |





