








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1338 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1102 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1129 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1111 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,038 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -TL- Ole LeeRoy | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | ReasoN | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | -TL- DirtyĐan | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | -TL- ColeTrain | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | 333 | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 333 | 140 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | nck | 110 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | ReasoN | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | -TL- DirtyĐan | 82 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #5 | -TL- ColeTrain | 61 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -TL- DirtyĐan | +3.92 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | ReasoN | +2.62 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | nck | +1.40 | 57 | 52 |
| #4 | -TL- ColeTrain | +0.66 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | 333 | +0.29 | 56 | 60 |





