








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3668 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2514 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3422 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1917 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,174 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaitsz | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | mEo | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | SPACE HOS | 51% | 79 |
| #4 | :D | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | giga brain | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Anato | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | Juan Grant | 41% | 41 |
| #12 | peni5or | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | |❟❛❟|♿☂☠WOBBLY TIPPY TAPS☠㋡ | 40% | 20 |
| #14 | kelpsik | 39% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓣𝓮𝓵𝓮5𝓸𝓻 #𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓲𝓭㋡ | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | kelpsik | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | SPACE HOS | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | :D | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Juan Grant | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓣𝓮𝓵𝓮5𝓸𝓻 #𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓲𝓭㋡ | 137 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | mEo | 113 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | :D | 98 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Juan Grant | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | SPACE HOS | 78 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peni5or | +3.88 | 77 | 33 |
| #2 | |❟❛❟|♿☂☠WOBBLY TIPPY TAPS☠㋡ | +3.51 | 54 | 64 |
| #3 | BulletMonkey | +2.69 | 77 | 45 |
| #4 | Anato | +2.57 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | SPACE HOS | +1.01 | 77 | 49 |





