








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 245 | 33% |
| Smokes | 100 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 256 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 137 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $133,490 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .SR |Kazu | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Luminary | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | CS_Bloody | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Shirokamii | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Josh | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CS_Bloody | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Shirokamii | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Josh | 63% | 8 |
| #6 | aweS #10 | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | Josh | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shirokamii | 2 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Luminary | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | .SR |Kazu | 1 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shirokamii | 28 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #2 | Luminary | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | aweS #10 | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | CS_Bloody | 5 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | .SR |Kazu | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sa3ada | +3.27 | 95 | 44 |
| #2 | Josh | +2.25 | 89 | 16 |
| #3 | Shirokamii | +1.02 | 84 | 46 |
| #4 | Josh | +0.48 | 93 | 18 |
| #5 | .SR |Kazu | -1.16 | 82 | 15 |





