








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 151 | 14% |
| Smokes | 346 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 429 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 129 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $154,819 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sjurs | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | alkoholdealerrrr | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | BlueIgnite | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Ricardio stronk | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Fatman | 46% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | alkoholdealerrrr | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | BlueIgnite | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Ricardio stronk | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Fatman | 46% | 95 |
| #6 | Lamename73 | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatman | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | BlueIgnite | 4 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | sjurs | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Ricardio stronk | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatman | 224 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | sjurs | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lamename73 | 56 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | BlueIgnite | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ricardio stronk | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatman | +5.86 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | sjurs | +4.14 | 89 | 62 |
| #3 | BlueIgnite | +3.88 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | alkoholdealerrrr | +2.06 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | Ricardio stronk | -0.96 | 48 | 53 |





