








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1258 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1487 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 984 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,963 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricardio stronk | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | alkoholdealerrrr | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | sjurs | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | Lamename73 | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | NessieCrew | 46% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | alkoholdealerrrr | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | sjurs | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | Lamename73 | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | NessieCrew | 46% | 95 |
| #6 | BlueIgnite | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sjurs | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | BlueIgnite | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Lamename73 | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Ricardio stronk | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | alkoholdealerrrr | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sjurs | 136 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lamename73 | 112 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | BlueIgnite | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | alkoholdealerrrr | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ricardio stronk | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatman | +4.28 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | sjurs | +2.49 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | BlueIgnite | +0.84 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | alkoholdealerrrr | +0.41 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | Ricardio stronk | -1.01 | 42 | 50 |





