








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 86 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5 | 6% |
| Smokes | 26 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 32 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 23 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,991 of utility $8 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bitrare | 54% | 118 |
| #2 | Cru0 | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Lily<3 | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | Adderall Sensei | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Sage | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cru0 | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Lily<3 | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | Adderall Sensei | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Sage | 39% | 41 |
| #6 | lol fym | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bitrare | 15 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Sage | 12 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | Lily<3 | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Cru0 | 4 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | lol fym | 2 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bitrare | 424 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Cru0 | 74 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lily<3 | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sage | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Adderall Sensei | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru0 | +7.00 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | Sage | +6.23 | 74 | 41 |
| #3 | Bitrare | +4.78 | 74 | 42 |
| #4 | lol fym | -0.58 | 21 | 7 |
| #5 | Lily<3 | -3.63 | 13 | 19 |





