








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Wingman | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3655 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1855 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1488 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3484 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,442,478 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 578 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pete | 56% | 167 |
| #2 | pike | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | bentley | 51% | 333 |
| #4 | iltsikka | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | Snusmane | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pete | 56% | 167 |
| #2 | pike | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | bentley | 51% | 333 |
| #4 | iltsikka | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | Snusmane | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bentley | 16 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | pete | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Snusmane | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | pike | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | iltsikka | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bentley | 668 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | pete | 143 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | pike | 118 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Snusmane | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | iltsikka | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iltsikka | +2.11 | 62 | 72 |
| #2 | pete | +2.01 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | Snusmane | +0.67 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | bentley | +0.31 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | pike | -0.52 | 57 | 55 |





