








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 702 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2281 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1353 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2217 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,269 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pike | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | bentley | 59% | 73 |
| #3 | ad | 56% | 167 |
| #4 | Neo | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Saab #PRESSUPEEK | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pike | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | bentley | 59% | 73 |
| #3 | ad | 56% | 167 |
| #4 | Neo | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Saab #PRESSUPEEK | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bentley | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Saab #PRESSUPEEK | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | ad | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Neo | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | pike | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ad | 458 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | bentley | 151 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Saab #PRESSUPEEK | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Neo | 88 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | pike | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pete | +2.07 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | bentley | -0.06 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | ad | -0.65 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | Neo | -0.88 | 46 | 53 |
| #5 | pike | -1.18 | 59 | 55 |





