








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1772 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1803 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2102 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2192 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,274 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xabbue | 51% | 59 |
| #2 | clementkvd ☭ | 49% | 155 |
| #3 | Sevenüm | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | AIKOS | 47% | 109 |
| #5 | le_kiwi_me_fait_mal_au_crane | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | clementkvd ☭ | 49% | 155 |
| #3 | Sevenüm | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | AIKOS | 47% | 109 |
| #5 | le_kiwi_me_fait_mal_au_crane | 45% | 31 |
| #6 | Umi | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIKOS | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | clementkvd ☭ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Xabbue | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sevenüm | 281 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | Xabbue | 279 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | clementkvd ☭ | 175 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | AIKOS | 161 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | le_kiwi_me_fait_mal_au_crane | 115 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xabbue | +3.00 | 64 | 75 |
| #2 | Harryses☭ | +1.85 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | le_kiwi_me_fait_mal_au_crane | +0.84 | 51 | 77 |
| #4 | AIKOS | +0.24 | 35 | 33 |
| #5 | clementkvd ☭ | -1.51 | 61 | 50 |





