










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 226 | 10% |
| Smokes | 876 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 740 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 512 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,274 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Bin Habibi | 49% | 77 |
| #2 | Need Edit Profile | 47% | 74 |
| #3 | Wheres my water? | 46% | 81 |
| #4 | Cà Văn Dái | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Hiroshi | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Bin Habibi | 49% | 77 |
| #2 | Need Edit Profile | 47% | 74 |
| #3 | Wheres my water? | 46% | 81 |
| #4 | Cà Văn Dái | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Hiroshi | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Bin Habibi | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Need Edit Profile | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Wheres my water? | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Cà Văn Dái | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Bin Habibi | 362 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | Wheres my water? | 222 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hiroshi | 28 | 0.30 | 0 min |
| #4 | Need Edit Profile | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cà Văn Dái | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wheres my water? | +3.92 | 54 | 65 |
| #2 | Hu Tao TV | +1.29 | 46 | 44 |
| #3 | Cà Văn Dái | -0.43 | 34 | 42 |
| #4 | Osama Bin Habibi | -2.90 | 2 | 69 |
| #5 | Need Edit Profile | -3.27 | 24 | 18 |





