










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 70 | 18% |
| Smokes | 118 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 111 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 90 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,814 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Invisible | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Bruno Sars™ | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Leigh Badcocke | 24% | 17 |
| #5 | MaartenM | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bruno Sars™ | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Leigh Badcocke | 24% | 17 |
| #5 | MaartenM | 18% | 11 |
| #6 | Knee Grow | 0% | 4 |
| #7 | ♛ Scary ♛ 2.0 | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leigh Badcocke | 6 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | MaartenM | 6 | 0.0247 |
| #3 | Invisible | 6 | 0.0417 |
| #4 | George | 3 | 0.0286 |
| #5 | Bruno Sars™ | 2 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bruno Sars™ | 28 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Knee Grow | 18 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #3 | Leigh Badcocke | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | MaartenM | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | ♛ Scary ♛ 2.0 | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invisible | +4.79 | 73 | 43 |
| #2 | Leigh Badcocke | +2.13 | 46 | 61 |
| #3 | ♛ Scary ♛ 2.0 | +0.59 | 86 | 54 |
| #4 | MaartenM | +0.39 | 57 | 33 |
| #5 | Bruno Sars™ | -0.52 | 57 | 53 |





