








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 831 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2308 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2233 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2382 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2310 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $980,688 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanDanTheMattressMan | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Billy Bob YuGi | 58% | 103 |
| #3 | JohnnySkins | 52% | 60 |
| #4 | Althrin | 49% | 285 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanDanTheMattressMan | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Billy Bob YuGi | 58% | 103 |
| #3 | JohnnySkins | 52% | 60 |
| #4 | Althrin | 49% | 285 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Althrin | 18 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | DanDanTheMattressMan | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | JohnnySkins | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Billy Bob YuGi | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy Bob YuGi | 200 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Althrin | 171 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #3 | DanDanTheMattressMan | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | JohnnySkins | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanDanTheMattressMan | +4.10 | 59 | 57 |
| #2 | Chunky Grungus and Mushy Peas | +1.00 | 45 | 55 |
| #3 | Althrin | +0.70 | 53 | 49 |
| #4 | Billy Bob YuGi | -1.21 | 24 | 47 |
| #5 | JohnnySkins | -4.40 | 18 | 31 |





