








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Wingman | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1436 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3155 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1899 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1750 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $619,076 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1076 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanDanTheMattressMan | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Billy Bob YuGi | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | JohnnySkins | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Chunky Grungus and Mushy Peas | 49% | 285 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanDanTheMattressMan | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Billy Bob YuGi | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | JohnnySkins | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Chunky Grungus and Mushy Peas | 49% | 285 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chunky Grungus and Mushy Peas | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | JohnnySkins | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | DanDanTheMattressMan | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Billy Bob YuGi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chunky Grungus and Mushy Peas | 381 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Billy Bob YuGi | 108 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | JohnnySkins | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | DanDanTheMattressMan | 25 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanDanTheMattressMan | +4.67 | 59 | 54 |
| #2 | Chunky Grungus and Mushy Peas | +0.63 | 46 | 55 |
| #3 | Althrin | +0.40 | 50 | 49 |
| #4 | Billy Bob YuGi | -2.03 | 25 | 48 |
| #5 | JohnnySkins | -4.73 | 18 | 31 |





