








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2904 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1509 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2973 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2038 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,028,875 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 895 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ol’ Dirty Bastard | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | European Cowgirl -UwU- 😊 | 50% | 72 |
| #3 | GEEZERSDEAGLE | 47% | 94 |
| #4 | S9 | 46% | 94 |
| #5 | LostPhilipp | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Supreme | 33 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | GEEZERSDEAGLE | 20 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | S9 | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Stein | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | European Cowgirl -UwU- 😊 | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Supreme | 545 | 0.34 | 11 min |
| #2 | GEEZERSDEAGLE | 243 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | European Cowgirl -UwU- 😊 | 160 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | S9 | 158 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ol’ Dirty Bastard | 87 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Supreme | +2.60 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | European Cowgirl -UwU- 😊 | +2.58 | 48 | 66 |
| #3 | Ol’ Dirty Bastard | +1.16 | 47 | 66 |
| #4 | ★ScarFace | +0.07 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | GEEZERSDEAGLE | -1.43 | 54 | 57 |





